-
It’s a rug…it doesn’t solve all my problems, but it doesn’t anger me.
Louis C.K., in response to being asked about a rug in Ikea -
New York City smells like pee and the people are rude.
Eric, True Blood -
Sookie: Is she ok?
Sam Merlotte: Hello no, she’s a vampire!
Sookie and Sam discussing the recently-turned-Tara, True Blood -
Color me impressed, you guys know how to party.
Pam, to Sookie and Lafayette after she sees Debbie and Tara dead on the kitchen floor, True Blood -
I don’t do ice cream, it’s like sweet mucus.
Adam to Hannah, GIRLS -
You embezzled funds and you forged my signature.
Don Draper, to Lane Pryce, Mad Men -
I haven’t seen so much skin since shedding season on a snake farm.
Ned Flanders to Lady Gaga, The Simpsons -
Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s Officially Unwatchable
Tonight’s episode of KUWTK has cemented the fact that this family can sink no lower. Everyone is officially a characature:
Kim - attention-seeking diva now officially crossed over into Britney-Spears-head-shaving territory. You need to be the center of attention: WE GET IT. Put away the wigs and please stop speaking in a baby voice for 30 seconds. Or even 10 seconds.
Kris - media whore more focused on her own fame than family values.
Kourtney - one wrod: Prozac. Get some.
Khloe - even via Skype, the ONLY slightly sane member of the klan.
Rob - pathetic loser with no earning potential, and thus ignored by family matriarch for good reason.
Bruce - asexual, non-entity ignored by everyone for good reason.
Younger Sis #1 / Younger Sis #2 - wannabe models with forced lines.
It’s officially over. Sorry, Ryan Seacrest.
-
I can’t go scrapping right now, I’m here with my friends, so…
Hannah to Adam, after he invites her to leave a party and join him at the Navy Yard to go scrapping for his boat, GIRLS -
I will hurt you for this. The day will come when you think you’re safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you’ll know the debt is paid.
Tyrion Lannister to Cersei
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